i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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