the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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