I'm lost and stupid without you.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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