I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The best revenge is premature balding
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
