Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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