I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We had sex on a dog bed..
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
