Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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