doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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