okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Fuck appropriateness.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
