oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
