Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
