She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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