I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
