wanna go halves on a baby?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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