your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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