Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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