Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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