I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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