Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize