he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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