plz talk dirty to me
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
