Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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