Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize