Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
