I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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