Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The uberlube is also flammable
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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