Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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