I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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