I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize