He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
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you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
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He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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