I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
