Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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