I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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