Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
