We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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