pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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