its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
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The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
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In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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