i don't like sucking hair
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
