Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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