It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
