Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
