I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
