Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
