she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
