fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
