working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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