I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
