Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
