the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
