that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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