The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
