my soul wont recognize me after tonight
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
