Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Houston, we have a blender
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
