life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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