uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
this hospital has no fireball
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
