you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize