There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
