weddingsv make me drug and hornr
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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