ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
