also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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