Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
