you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
