If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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