How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.