Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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