Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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