hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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