I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
