you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
