I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
