My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
