Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
