I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
