i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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