I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
